he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
