a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
