Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
