I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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