Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
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that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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