I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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