if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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