Well douche your snatch and let's go!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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