I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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