so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
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That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
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The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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