I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
