playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
