Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize