I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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