My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
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And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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