I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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