my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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