The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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