I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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