Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
