You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
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It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
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Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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