This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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