I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i've created a new STD.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
