You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
