I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize