WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
