the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
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