I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!