gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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