Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
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So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
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He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.