So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
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Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
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there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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