you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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