eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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