My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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