worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
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I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
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My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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