I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You were trust falling into bushes
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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