Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
