Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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