Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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