Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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