Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize