32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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