we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
