Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
