whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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