Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize