I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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