she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize