The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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