I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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