And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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