I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize