Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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