You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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