Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize