Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
