my mouth tastes like poor choices
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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