So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i love accidental penises.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
