return my video game
i think i have two assholes
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
