Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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