I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
