Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
