Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
