Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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